Dear Teachers: So This is a Little Awkward…

posted in Awkward Encounters, Funny Stuff Kids Say, Scary Mommy Post on by with 1 Reply


I will never forget the time when, aged 5 or 6 years old and struggling into my bathing suit on the beach at a family camp, I asked my poor cousin Mary if she knew whether or not ducks had penises. I guess I figured that since she was a wise and glorious teenager, she must know everything. For the record, Mary did not know anything about duck nether-parts, and to this day has not answered my question.

Now, my own children lob awkward questions and accusations at me on a daily basis. Sometimes, I worry that their weird little imaginings will make their way to school, so I wrote some notes to my children’s teachers to explain things, just in case they come up in class.

Here’s a little sample:

RE: False claims of injustice

Dear Teacher,

Hi there! I just wanted to jot you a little note to let you know that regardless of what she says, I have never locked my four-year-old in a tower…click to read the whole post over on Scary Mommy!