Jell-O Shots with a Muppet (It gets weird here sometimes)

posted in Best of Shakespeare's Mom, Fun Stuff, Product Reviews on by with 24 Replies

“Mommy, please put this coat on Scout? He wants to play in the snow but he too cold!”

“Mommy, my baby is too hot!  We haffa take off her sweatshirt RIGHT NOW!”

Yup, we’ve entered the stage of dressing and undressing dolls.  The twins are getting better at doing this by themselves, but they still usually need my help.  As in, I am now the wardrobe mistress for various and sundry dolls and animals as if I didn’t have enough to do.  I’m rarely dressed appropriately, but at least Blue Dog is looking good in a fun, patterned jacket!  It is cute though, to see the girls creating all kinds of scenarios with their stuffed friends.  They alternate between calling them “sweet darling” and sternly shoving them into time out.  They’ve mostly been using The Baby’s old clothes to dress their dolls, which sometimes looks cute and sometimes is just ridiculous.

So when the owner of Doll Clothes Superstore contacted me to see if I’d like to review a sample of the doll clothes available on her website, I was all like, “Heck yes I do!”  Not only does this make me feel like a real, legit blogger, but I also got two free doll nightgowns for my girls.  Sweet!

The nightgowns, made of a silky-soft satin material, are made to fit any doll who is approximately 15″ in length.  They look like this:

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Cute, right?  They will be available to purchase very soon for $8.15 each at the Doll Clothes Superstore.  They have an easy-to-use-if-you-have-small-chubby-kid-hands velcro opening on the back.  While they would really look best on baby dolls, the first toys my girls chose to model the nightgowns were stuffed dogs.  I’m not going to show you a picture of that because while technically the nightgowns did fit the dogs, they weren’t especially flattering.  Let’s just say that some stuffed animals don’t exactly have the curves to show off a floaty little satin nightie.  But neither do I, Scout and Blue Dog, neither do I.  We should all probably cut back on the cookies, but that’s neither here nor there.

You know who does look really good in one of these nighties?  Ariel, of course.  The Little Freaking Mermaid.  She’s a Disney princess for crying out loud, so of course she looks good in anything.  So when the girls went to bed, I put Ariel in the nightgown and then looked around for another model.  We have another Disney doll, but she was upstairs in the girls’ room where they were sound asleep.  Who else was there?  Who was going to be Shakespeare’s Mom’s Next Top Model?  Then, aha!  There he was, lurking like the furry little weirdo that he is behind the toy kitchen set.  The perfect nightgown model:

Elmo.

Once I got Elmo into the nightie, it was on.  It became very clear that Elmo and Ariel would make perfect BFFs.  And what do BFFs do when wearing matching nightgowns?  They have a slumber party, obviously!  I asked if they’d be willing to wear their nighties for the duration of their slumber party activities so that we could see how they held up.  That way, you get a really honest review from someone who’s actually tried out the product.  I like to bring you guys the best.  You’re welcome.

Elmo and Ariel were psyched.  They spend most of their time lolling around on the floor and occasionally getting smothered or dragged around, so they were beyond excited to do something different.

And now I give you…

Ariel and Elmo’s Slumber Party Nightie Review!

By Ariel and Elmo

They don’t have last names I guess.  They are just that cool.

To start off their night, Ariel had her limo pick Elmo up:

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Elmo had never ridden in a limo before, but he leaned right back into that luxury and stretched out.  The satin nightie was a little slippery on the soft leather seats of Ariel’s pimped-out ride, but other than that, everything was going great.

E and A decided to kick off their night of fun with a friendly little game of poker.

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They didn’t make any bets since neither of them owns any actual money, but they had a couple of cold ones while they played to make it festive.  No one spilled any beer on the nighties, and despite the fact that Elmo is apparently a killer poker player and Ariel can’t quite wrap her head around complicated things like numbers and suits, they had a blast.

Up next: drinks and snacks together on the top bunk!

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After the beers with poker and the martinis in bed, Ariel, clearly the more experienced drinker, was doing just fine.  Elmo, however, had entered the questionable decision-making stage of drunkenness.  After almost killing himself when he missed the ladder getting off the top bunk, he managed to rally and shouted, “I KNOW WHAT WE SHOULD DO!  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  No.  Wait (hiccup).  Okay.  Elmo (hiccup) can do this.  ELMO WANTS (hiccup) JELL-O SHOTS!!”

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Ariel shrugged and did the only thing she could do: helped the drunk guy make Jell-O shots.  Then, deciding that maybe some fresh air and brisk exercise would help to clear Elmo’s head, she suggested her favorite activity:

Horseback riding.

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Ariel, having been given every opportunity befitting a member of Disney royalty, is an accomplished horsewoman.  She regularly competes in dressage and all that fancy shit because of course she does.  Elmo, though, even without the beer, martinis, and Jell-O shots sloshing around in his little belly, is no equestrian.

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He barely held on.  And then immediately barfed in the bushes.  Classy.

The nighties, though, performed beautifully.  As you can see, even in the midst of a wild, nighttime horseback ride, the nighties stayed in place.  They didn’t ride up and expose all of E and A’s bits and bobs as they galloped along.  Good thing, because I didn’t receive any doll underwear to review, so you would have gotten an eyeful.

After the horseback shenanigans, it was time to wind down.  Elmo and Ariel opted for some good ol’ drunken YouTube video watching, once again snuggled up on the top bunk:

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Does “People of Wal Mart” ever get old?  I think not.

They crashed after that.  It had been a fabulous night, but a princess and her pal need their beauty sleep.

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Both Elmo and Ariel reported that the nighties were very comfortable for sleeping.  Not too warm, not too chilly, and they didn’t do that annoying paralyzing nightie thing where they bunch up around your legs and you can’t move.  Ain’t nobody got time for nightie paralysis.

Being the princess that she is, Ariel decided that the next day they needed some serious pampering to recover from their wild night.  So, obviously, a trip to the spa was in order.  They found the nighties so comfortable that they didn’t even bother changing out of them to go to the spa:

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It wasn’t as awkward as you might think for them to wear the nighties to the spa, though.  Since she’s royalty, Ariel has a fully staffed day spa in her house.  Because of course she does.

So the final verdict on the nighties?  Here’s what the testers had to say:

Elmo:  Elmo loves his nightie!  It’s so soft and cuddly and Elmo can wear it to do all sorts of activities!  Elmo had so much fun with his best friend Ariel last night.  Do you have a best friend?

Me:  Don’t turn this around on me, Elmo.  I don’t even remember the last time I had a fun sleepover with my BFF, and I would KILL for a spa day like you had with Ariel.  Why don’t you take your squeaky little third person comments somewhere else?  Here, climb back into the toy bin.  There you go.

Ariel:  I, like, love this nightie.  It’s totes adorbs!  I could even wear it (starts singing) Up where they walk!  Up where they run!  Up where they stay all day in the suuuuun…”

Me:  Okay, okay, that’s enough thanks.  Why does everything have to be all about singing with you?  This is not an audition, just a product review.  Hop on into that toy bin with your pal Elmo and just pipe down.

So the doll nightgowns are sweet.  My kids like them, they’re easy to use, and I think they’re reasonably priced.  Check out the site here: Baby Doll Clothes at Doll Clothes Superstore.

Just don’t try to squeeze one on those chubby teddy bear types.  It’s not a good look.  You don’t need the What Not to Wear hosts of the stuffed animal world surprising you at your doorstep to haul your kid’s teddy bear in front of a 360 degree mirror.

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  • http://singedwingangelspad.com/ Angel Shrout

    OMG I am losing it over here. I kinda figured Elmo didn’t have it in him to hang with Ariel for long, he spends way too much time with Mr. Noodle and we know what an airhead that man can be. I found you from Catch up with us and have to say this cracked me up..LOVED IT

    • ShakespearesMom

      Thank you! There really is something wrong with Mr. Noodle, isn’t there? I’m so glad I could crack you up. I had a blast writing this post 🙂

  • Joy @ Comfytown

    HA! My 2 yr old LOVES this post so hard! I wish I were taking a video of her reaction to the pictures as she was looking at them:
    “oohhh, Elmo!”
    “Yeehah!” (horse-riding)
    “Elmo hungeee!” (Fridge pic)
    The 3 yr old got a kick out of watching her freaking out and trying to KISS my laptop screen! Which made me lose the whole post b/c Windows 8 is touch screen (barf) but we came back, and after letting her look at ALL the pictures about 7 times, she’s finally letting me leave a comment now! Although she is saying “See Elmo?” so we’ll go back and view it again. This is a BIG HIT with the Elmo crowd! Totally pinning this post. These 2 should have their own show, “The Adventures of Elmo & Ariel”

    • ShakespearesMom

      So glad I could keep both you AND the little ones entertained! Maybe I’ll make The Adventures of Elmo and Ariel a regular thing on my blog. Or is that not exactly legal because they’re all copyrighted and shit? Yeah. Probably not legal. It would be fun though! I’ll have to think of something else…

      • Joy @ Comfytown

        I’m sure there are some Dollar Store toys that could use a Night OUT!

  • The Shitastrophy

    This may be the BEST product review I have ever read:) You had me at Elmo and Ariel drinking beer (my favorite) while playing poker. Soooooolllllddddd!

    • ShakespearesMom

      Thank you so much!! I didn’t realize how much fun a product review could be until I started playing with the kids’ toys 🙂

  • http://www.sandinmytoes.tk/ Tarana

    I just love your imagination! Have you considered writing children’s books? This is the best-est review I’ve ever read!

    • ShakespearesMom

      Thank you so much! I actually have a children’s book idea that I’m going to work on one of these days. I also have the first chapter and a half of a novel written, and a fabulous idea for an adapted screenplay…
      Basically I need some time to seriously write. Whether or not anyone in their right mind would ever want to publish any of my stuff is another question, but hey, maybe I can make a career out of reviewing doll nighties 🙂

      • http://www.sandinmytoes.tk/ Tarana

        I say, go for it! You’ve definitely got the right mix of creativity and imagination for it 🙂

  • MItyn

    Love the spa day! Elmo looks so relaxed. Great review!

    • ShakespearesMom

      It’s probably the most relaxed Elmo has ever been. Thanks for reading!

  • Mel

    HAHA! This is hilarious. Elmo…after dark. 🙂 I like how it started innocent enough. This is a really cute review. I’m so glad you linked up with us at #KetchupWithUs

    • ShakespearesMom

      Thank you!! And I was pretty psyched to find a new link-up – thanks for hosting it!

  • BoyEatsWorld

    Hilarious review. I ‘d like to party with Elmo 🙂

    • ShakespearesMom

      The great thing about partying with Elmo is that he seems to be up for anything. Thanks for reading!

  • Old Dog, New Tits

    The spa pic is my favorite. The gowns are adorable, too. BTW.

    Thanks for linking up with us. Please come back and see us again on the 1st.

    • ShakespearesMom

      That’s my favorite one too! I’ll be back for the next link-up – thanks for hosting it!

  • Sarah Coggins

    Bwahaha. Tears from laughing. Seriously. Awesome post. The title sucked me in and so glad it did.

    • ShakespearesMom

      I love it when I make someone cry-laugh!! Glad you liked it 🙂

  • Kim Gordon Pease

    I have been meaning to read this for a while now! Your are hilarious!! My husband is sitting on the other side of the couch wondering wth I’m laughing about.. I seriously can’t stop!!!

    • ShakespearesMom

      Thanks, Kim! It’s a fine line between hilarious and crazy, so thanks for choosing “hilarious!”

  • Karina Bos

    OMG I LOVE you.. I don’t have kids yet, and am a teacher too. I hope I am even half as great of a mother as you are:D I’ve become addicted to your posts

    • ShakespearesMom

      Thank you so much, Karina! You’re so sweet to say those things, and I’m glad I can keep you entertained!