The Morning Routines of Four Regular Women – On Scary Mommy!

posted in I am not good at mornings, Motherhood, Scary Mommy Post on by with 6 Replies

Forbes magazine recently highlighted the morning routines of 12 women leaders. These routines include:

4:45 Wake up and have a bowl of quinoa cereal. I do an hour or so of 3rd or 4th series ashtanga yoga.”

6:43 Alarm goes off. No snooze. Pull on John Eshaya sweatpants and clogs.”

6:50 Make coffee (fair trade); microwave Zen Bakery muffin (vegan) First breakfast.”

6:45 Head down to the home gym for a workout.”

I mean come on.  Can you be any more pretentious??

The article is meant to show how people thrive from the consistency of routines, but for most moms, the reality of the morning routine is, well, a little bit different.
These people have a lot of needs in the morning.  I can't be doing yoga and eating Zen muffins, even though that sounds pretty freaking great.

These people have a lot of needs in the morning. I can’t be doing AN HOUR of yoga and eating Zen muffins, even though that sounds pretty freaking great.

My friend Christina, The Mediocre Housewife, a couple of other moms, and I decided to share our more, you know, average morning routines on Scary Mommy.  Check out our post to see if you can relate:
  • Nicki Gilbert

    I am delighted to discover that I am NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT STANDS IN DAMN DOG PEE EVERY MORNING. There. I said it. Love the honest, real approach to mornings. Besides the dog pee, mine consist of saying, “Go brush your teeth,” 15 times. To each kid. There are four of them. That’s 60 times. Just saying. Fabulous collaboration! Thank you :).

    • ShakespearesMom

      So glad, but also sorry, that you could relate to the dog pee!!
      We had fun with this post. The Forbes one made it almost too easy. I guess maybe it was meant to inspire us “regular women” by showing how uber-successful women start their days, but come on. They’re only able to do those things in the morning BECAUSE of the resources they have at their disposal. I’m sure those women worked really hard to get where they are and earned their success – where are their stories of the toil and struggle it took to become leaders in their fields? Those might actually be inspiring to read.
      Anyway – best of luck with all of that teeth brushing!!

  • Darcey

    I woke up to dog pee this morning. I went into full black out, crazy, swearing, lunatic mode. Great way to start the day! The kids “sensed” my aggravation and asked if they could do anything to help and instead of realizing I was a crazy person and needed to take a breath I said, “Yeah, you can decide which of these 3 EFFIN dogs you want to get rid of, because I’m DONE”. Yup. Mother of the year, right here.

    • ShakespearesMom

      Darcey – I get it. I’m so sorry. I don’t think my dogs have any idea how close I’ve come to shipping them off to some unsuspecting relative’s house.

  • OMG I didn’t read the original Forbes article, but I cannot BELIEVE how out of touch they are to dare mention their gourmet breakfasts and morning yoga! It sounds like a complete joke!! Love that you and the others shared your real routines– none of which involve kale smoothies or designer workout wear :).

    • ShakespearesMom

      This was a fun post to write. You have to check out the Forbes one. It’s even more ridiculous than you would think possible.